Product Review: Petmate JW Megalast Bear

Petmate's JW Megalast Bear is an unusually tough squeaky toy. This is a thick and heavy toy with a recessed squeaker and a shape that's tough to gnaw. It is made in the USA from proprietary material that is 100% recyclable. It is available in assorted colors and two sizes, I highly recommend getting the larger size unless you have a really tiny dog.

Photo by Erin Koski

Indestructible Dog Toys

Godzilla and Zip received several tough toys for Christmas, in an attempt to rein in the rate of toy destruction around here. This one looked promising, possibly the toughest squeaky toy I've encountered so far.

Most squeakies are either plush toys, or thin vinyl. Neither can handle a power chewer, and most don't survive even moderate gnawing. This thing? It's heavy, thick, and made from the same stuff as other JW Megalast toys. They aren't completely indestructible, but many power chewers can enjoy them without reducing them to tiny pieces.

Photo by Erin Koski

The De-Squeaking

Photo by Erin Koski

While the gummi bear is currently holding up to its second month of nonstop fetch and wild chomping, I can't say the same for its squeaker. Not sure what happened exactly, since it's still attached and everything. It just...stopped squeaking. I think the squeaker lasted about three days. 

Pros

• Tougher than regular squeaky toys
• Big enough for large and giant breeds to play safely
• Shape makes it difficult to shred
• Tends to last power chewers longer than most toys
• Made in the USA

Cons

• Squeaker may cease to function
• Not actually indestructible
• No guarantee of durability

Bottom Line

Photo by Erin Koski

Some dogs are still going to shred the Megalast Bear, but there are a lot of reviews from owners of power chewers stating that this is the only toy that lasts in their house. It's certainly holding up well around here! Happily, it's also pretty easy to find for under $10, so it's worth trying for your destructopuppy.

Product Review: Kong Duets Boomerang

This boomerang toy is from Kong's Duets toy line. These are toys that offer two different textures and sounds in one toy. Our boomerang squeaks and also rattles. This is an interactive toy, and not part of Kong's flagship rubber chew toys.

Photo by Erin Koski

The girls got the Duets boomerang for Christmas. It's brightly-colored, and I was curious how well it would hold up to insane amounts of fetch. As far as I can tell, Kong makes two types of toys; there's the really super durable guaranteed chew toys, and then there's the cheap flimsy stuff.

The information about the Duets toy line describes them as having a "loud squeaker". How loud is it? I'd say average. It's not super quiet, but it's nowhere near Cuz ball level.

Photo by Erin Koski

The rattling sound honestly is barely noticeable, but I think it could be fun for a shy or sound-sensitive dog. It creates the sound of lots of movement in a small and non-threatening package.

Pros: Both squeaks and rattles, to fit different play personalities. Pretty and sparkly. Boomerang shape is fun to throw.

Cons: The girls killed the squeak on Day 1. Now it just rattles. Nobody cares about the rattle.

Bottom Line: It's durable enough that we haven't fetched it to death yet, but I doubt it would stand up to any sort of real gnawing. It's a fun interactive toy for smallish dogs.

Product Review: Starmark Treat Dispensing Squeakee

Starmark's Treat Dispensine Squeakee squeaks, floats, bounces, and dispenses food! It's pretty incredible. In retrospect, I'm a bit surprised nobody thought of combining all of those things earlier. Though not indestructible, this is a pretty darned sturdy squeaky toy. It's not really horribly loud, either. I believe the Squeakee is only available in one size and color at this point.

Photo by Erin Koski

This is another product that I feel was created to solve some really common problems with squeaky toys.

1. My dog ate it.

While certainly not indestructible, the Squeakee is significantly tougher than any of our other flexible vinyl squeaky toys. It's thicker than the Squeeki Tiki. It's more flexible than Han Solo encased in carbonite. It doesn't have any super-gnawable feet like the Cuz balls. I expect it to stand up to occasional chewing better than similar products.

2. It sounds dreadful.

Photo by Erin Koski

Ok, the absolute worst squeaky toys on the planet are those foam-filled latex ones that sloooowly suck the air back into them. The second worst squeaky toys on the planet at the Cuz balls. Starmark's Squeakee is a whole lot more tolerable, mostly because it contains its own squeak.

See, the toy had an opening for inserting treats at one end, and the treat chamber takes up most of the toy. The squeaker part is at the other end, and it squeaks into the treat chamber. This muffles the sound a bit, which is really quite nice.

3. My dog won't play with it.

Not every dog sees the point of non-edible toys, especially if those toys cannot be unstuffed. Starmark made their squeaky toy hold treats, which doubles the attraction. Dog not that into getting the fod out? Squeak that thing for more excitement? Dog doesn't care for flexible vinyl squeaky toys? Hey look, it drops food too!

Pros: Squeaks without making me want to light it on fire. Can hold kibble and other treats, and the Starmark clover-shaped opening can be altered to make it drop food faster. Floats, so your dog can take it on every adventure.

Cons: I bet I could make it sink if I squeaked it underwater.

Bottom Line: My enthusiasm for this toy may diminish over time as I hear it squeaking more and more.

Product Review: Squeaky Han Solo Frozen in Carbonite

This squeaky Han Solo encased in carbonite is part of Petco's extensive Star Wars product line. Like the Death Star treat ball, this is one of those products that just makes sense to me. Unlike those eggs with pictures of characters on them, or plushes with giant heads, which feel like the result of several panicked people rushing around going "We have GOT to come up with more ideas!!! Quick! Somebody just shout something out!"

Photo by Erin Koski

This? This is art. Han Solo frozen in carbonite has been the inspiration for a ridiculous number of products. ThinkGeek.com currently offers an ice cube tray, shower curtain, business card holder, mini fridge, throw rug, and cutting board featuring Jabba the Hutt's favorite trophy. There also exists a bottle opener, smartphone cradle, giant door decals, and probably lots of stuff I didn't even find on my brief but intense Google search. Sideshow Collectibles even offers a lifesize replica complete with film-accurate details, for only $7k. Such a deal!

Photo by Erin Koski

This toy speaks to me because it isn't something they could make half a dozen character variations on. They can't just slap Darth Vader and Chewbacca and BB-8 in there and call it a day. There are dozens of cheap, unimaginative toys in this product line, but just a few that shine as thoughtful, unique creations. The Death Star pull toy is one of these. Han Solo frozen in carbonite and equipped with a squeaker is another.

Pros: Nice solid vinyl squeaky with enough detail to be clearly recognizable for what it is. Has a compelling squeak, according to Sisci Godzilla.

Cons: Sized more for smaller dogs, a potential choking hazard for giant breeds.

Bottom Line: I'll never look at rectangles the same way again.